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Something to make you smile!



Landlord Story 1

So I am 1 doing a viewing, a small Flat to a few tenant’s. A attractive lady in her late 20s shows up, I meet her and a man who was with her who i presume was her boyfriend.  The boyfriend basically did not say a single word during the viewing, and was clearly and painfully “friend-zoned” like you wouldn’t believe, it was kind of hilarious yet sad.

I guess he was the guard because the viewing was in the evening and it was dark. So after she has viewed the flat she says she’s interested. I asked her where she was staying, and she replied in an area all the way across the London. I asked her if it was just her who would be moving in, she kind of kept dodging the question.

After much questioning, she finally says “actually I won’t be moving into the flat”. Me: “Excuse me?” Lady: “I was going to get the flat and just rent it to tourists.” Me: (laughing) So you want to rent the flat to tourists for £200 per day, and make 3-4 times the rent, and pocket the rest?” Lady:  “Well, is there any other arrangement we can come to?” Me: “I don’t know. Let me think about it. You should get going.”

Landlord Story 2

We once had a tenant who kindly agreed to show new potential tenants the house as she was moving out of. She kept the house immaculate. After one family came by to see it, she texted me and told me to tell all future tenants “to wash their kids before they come here….I don’t want no dirty kids in my house”.

Landlord Story 3

I don’t take phone calls from the parents of my tenants (I rent to college students). If there is a problem with ANYTHING I tell my tenants to call me, not have their parents call me. I let them know this up front but also make them aware that if their parents would like to co-sign their lease, I will take calls from their parents. Parents never co-sign.

So anyway, I received a phone call from the mother of one of my tenants yesterday. This was the second time she has called me since Sept – the first was for a different issue her daughter was having with the dishwasher.

Woman wouldn’t take a breath & let me get a word in edgewise. Once I realised where she was going I let her…

She was irate that we had installed a washer & dryer in the basement of the property.

How DARE we install them and hook the dryer up to her daughter’s gas meter. Ever since we did this her daughter’s (and roommates) gas bill has been out of control. What kind of Landlord are you trying to get one over on her daughter and her roommates? She’s going to drive the hour to the property, take pictures and then take us to court and blah, blah, blah.

She finished her ranting and raving I had four words for her:

“The dryer is electric”!

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